Who the hell am I?

When we start to ask ourselves about our identity, it is a sign that we are not doing something right. We don’t feel good because our thoughts are not aligned with our reality.

I found myself in a similar situation.
I had everything and I was without a reason to complain.
Nevertheless I had a feeling that something isn’t right and that I do not want to go on this way. I was not satisfied with myself and with my contribution to the society.

Reason for my dissatisfaction was that I was not following my gut feeling. Even when I was young I didn’t have the courage to speak out loud about my dreams and wishes let alone to do something about it. I suspect that my reason for not taking action was my weak character.

Life went on and while I was growing up, I lost myself.

To find myself again, I had to go back in my mind to an era, when reality didn’t exist and when my thoughts didn’t have any boundaries yet. I had to remember my childhood.

Who was I back then?

The moments that we remember the most from our childhood, are the moments when we did something wrong and got punished because of it. I remember how angry my mum was, when I was moving the furniture around in the bedroom. I also remember the moment, when Saint Nicholas gave me a beating stick. Apparently because I dyed my mum’s white flowers read.

I remember how my brother and I were sitting on the floor for hours and hours and playing with Legos. Mostly we were making our own creations and mostly they were motorcycles and cars. I remember how we were going through the same car and motorcycle magazines and watching the same car and motorcycle TV shows over and over again.

Through looking at my past I have reconnected with myself. With years my character got stronger and now I have everything to align my reality with my thoughts.

I had to travel to my past to find myself. Some people travel half of the world to find out who they are. But it is difficult to find yourself, if you are mentally and physically always at the same place.

System is teaching us to become what the system needs for existence.
Now and then somebody comes along who tells us that we can become whoever we want, if we work hard enough.
But I believe that we should be ourselves. Wouldn’t it be sad to waste our lives for achieving goals that aren’t even ours.

In my opinion, the most that parents can do for their child is to help him get to know himself. This child will always feel good about himself. He will stand solidly on his feet and won’t get under the influence of the society. This child will be aware of his advantages and disadvantages and he will never regret anything.